How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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