I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
