But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
