So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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