Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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