New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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