a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
