i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
