Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We are two peas in an std pod
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
