you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
