whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
