i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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