we have officially lost it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
