He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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