How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize