All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
