I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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