So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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