Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize