Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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