i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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