I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
