i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I need to align my fucking chakras
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
