Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
