Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
