I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize