The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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