Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
