why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
