what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
