those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
