**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
