Soap is not a condiment
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Someone shattered a urinal.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
