i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
