party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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