I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
