I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
