wakey wakey hands off snakey
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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