she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
