I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
