Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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