We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
