Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
