I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
