i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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