i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Are we still banned from the library?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
