well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
