I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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