Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
