Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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