That's when you crack a 10am beer
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
