Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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