Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
