I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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