what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
