And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
