You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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