Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
