nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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