I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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