i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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