why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize